So, it's the All-Star break, and there's nothing to watch, which means there's a lot of thinking about stupid things that one thinks about when bored and without soccer. And I think about Soccer Play-by-play guys. Their's indeed a lot to be desired from them. And I couldn't help but think about guys calling other sports that I'd love to here call MLS games. These gentleman are THE 5 non soccer broadcasters I'd like to see broadcast soccer games. So, with out further ado, we start with (maybe) my most controversial pick... After the jump.
5. Joe Buck.
I know exactly what you're thinking, and I won't argue with you. I know exactly how he's perceived, and I agree with some of it. He can be boring and monotone. And he does have a tendency to drone on an one while nothing happens. But then, he's arguably the most important play-by-play man of the last two decades. His voice on the screen fills the game with meaning. He's FOX's A guy. The Man. His voice caries the gravitas of the moment. He'a called practically every world Series since I was alive. Whether it's game seven between the Yanks and the Sox, or a week 3 clash between the Cowboys and Giants, You hear Joe Buck on, you know it's important. He'd ad a certain level of gravity and seriousness which MLS lacks- especially the Cup Final .
Soccer Broadcaster Comparison: Marten Tyler
4. Kevin Harlan
K-dog is just fun. You can tell he enjoys every minute of his job, no matter what he's calling. He's the NFL on CBS's number two guy behind Jim Nantz, and Turner Sports number two NBA guy- Along with calling Westwoodone Monday Night Football on the radio. His catchphrases are awesome too, just picture Chris Rolfe ripping a blast in traffic from the top of the box into the upper 90- "With NO REGARD FOR HUMAN LIFE"
Soccer Boradcaster Comparison: Adrian Healey
3. Mike Breen
Some of you may be unfamiliar with Mike Breen and his work. Which is okay, he currently works as the Lead voice for both MSG's New York Knicks broadcast, as well as the voice of the NBA on ESPN/ABC. And really, he's unremarkable as an announcer. He doesn't scream, he doesn't have a catchphrase or anything like one. But he has something a lot of soccer announcers don't have, every night, every game, he puts in the same high quality performance. That consistency is lacking in MLS. Anouncers can have a good game one night and a bad game the next, and as far as I know, Mike Breen has never had a bad game.
Soccer Broadcaster Comparison: JP Delecamera
2. Jim Ross
If their was ever a commentator to confuse and astound you on this list more than Joe Buck does, this would be it. Good Ol' JR was the voice of Monday Night Raw for over a decade - and of WCW before that- and before that, he was the main PBP man for Oklahoma Sooner Football. No one can craft the narrative of a Live Event quite like Jim Ross can. Say what you want about the scripted sport, but almost nothing Good Ol' JR does is- or atleast, very little of it is. He does his job by reacting to whats in front of him, with often no idea of the scripted outcome. He's so awesome, he gets his own entrance.
1. Mike "Doc" Emrick
There's really nothing to say here. Mike is the best sports play-by-play man I have ever heard. And it's even more impressive because he has to deal with Pierre McGuire every broadcast. And it's the little touches he does. The Mentions of Minor League and Junior and Woman's games (the publicity of which the lower leagues need) the interesting anecdotes of games gone by, the players histories- they all make for a Dynamic broadcast that will have casual fans as well as hardcores entertained and informed, skills every good PBP Guy must have.
Soccer Broadcaster Comparison Andres Cantor
So, that's the list. Feel free to give yours, and post examples in the comments.