"Marry/F**k/Kill" is a game of the Internet age, and the rules are simple: name a group of three people ("Iron Man and Thor and Captain America," "Blanche, Rose or Dorothy"), and ask the crowd to choose one fate for each of them - one to partner with for good, one explored for a connection but not kept, and one cast off into the outer darkness. Fans of 30 Rock will recognize this game in its safe-for-primetime version, Marry/Boff/Kill, which name we're borrowing because we do not want SB Nation getting angry emails.
Here at Hot Time, we're going to use the game to talk about players - specifically Chicago Fire players, naturally. We're going to use it as a way to talk about the roster. It works like this: ‘Marry' indicates a willingness to keep the player regardless of cap issues or any other considerations; ‘Boff' (i.e., ‘F**k) means that we're, uhh, f**king the player over, asking for modifications to their contract or running them through the Re-Entry Draft process - we're interested but not on these terms; and ‘Kill' means terminating the player's contact with CF97.
We're going to present some kind of argument for each outcome, and let the community have their say. I mean, why not? It's something like three months until the first preseason friendly. In case you didn't get with the action earlier, we started the series with Logan Pause, then featured Gonzalo Segares, Chris Rolfe, Joel Lindpere, Egidio Arevalo Rios, Hunter Jumper, Bakary Soumare and Corben Bone.
Patrick Nyarko, #14, 27 years old
2013: 30 appearances (24 starts); 2153 minutes; 4 goals, 4 assists
Career: 160 appearances (125 starts), 11385 minutes, 15 goals, 32 assists
$230,000 base salary; $248,333 guaranteed
Up next in our community judgement portal is Ghanaian winger Patrick Nyarko. Nyarko's 2013 was troubled - he was used as a forward for the first time in a couple of years before the club acquired Mike Magee, and struggled with head injuries after receiving his customary beating on the wings. His contract number isn't small; surely the Fire hope to get more than four assists from their primary setup man in 2014.
The case for ‘Marry'
Patty does things that few other people in the league can do - even sound, well-structured defenses can be put to the sword by his array of tricks with the ball at his feet. There's times where I think we've just gotten too accustomed to Nyarko; how many other wingers in MLS can consistently dribble through a double-team? Fire fans have seen it so often it seems mundane, but it's not.
The case for ‘Boff'
It's simple to look at that salary number, look at four assists - his lowest total in three seasons - and conclude that Nyarko's deal could use some shaving. I doubt he'd take the adjustment lying down, though - a voluntary pay-cut seems highly unlikely. And he'd get snatched up in the Re-Entry Draft in about a tenth of a second. If you're voting ‘Boff,' kindly explain how you'd do it.
The case for ‘Kill'
Here's a guy who's been nothing if not a loyal servant to the club in his six seasons. He takes a beating year-in, year-out on the wings from wrong-footed defenders, but still shows up to play every day. But you're a big ol' heartless meanie-head, and you suspect he's about to lose a half-step and become ineffective, so you click ‘kill.' I've got good news - there's a future in sports management for you.