"Marry/F**k/Kill" is a game of the Internet age, and the rules are simple: name a group of three people ("Iron Man and Thor and Captain America," "Blanche, Rose or Dorothy"), and ask the crowd to choose one fate for each of them - one to partner with for good, one explored for a connection but not kept, and one cast off into the outer darkness. Fans of the dearly-departed sitcom 30 Rock will recognize this game in its safe-for-primetime version, Marry/Boff/Kill, which name we're borrowing because this is SB Nation, and there's, like, kids in here, maaaaaaan.
Here at Hot Time, we're going to use the game to talk about players - specifically Chicago Fire players. We're going to use it as a way to talk about the roster, player by player, in terms of their performance, contract details*, and potential going forward. And we'll do it all with an eye toward 2016 and beyond.
It works like this:
- ‘Marry' indicates a desire to keep the player at their current number or sometimes a bit more;
- ‘Boff' (i.e., ‘F**k) means that we're, uhh, f**king the player over, asking for modifications to their contract or running them through the Re-Entry Draft process - we're interested, but not on these terms; and
- ‘Kill' means we're not even interesting in hooking up - a 'nope.' If under contract for 2016, we'd prefer terminating the player's contact with CF97.
We have previously placed David Accam, Kingsley Bryce, Jon Busch, Greg Cochrane, Razvan Cocis, Daneil Cyrus and Patrick Doody up for a vote. Today's subject is 18-year-old Fire homegrown attacker Collin Fernandez.
2015 stats: 1 appearance, 6 minutes.
18-year-old homegrown attacker. $65,000, $67,000 guaranteed.
The Case for 'Marry:' Apparently, here at Hot Time, we're all about marrying the nice local boys. Twice in a row - with Patrick Doody and now Collin Fernandez - we've evaluated a rookie homegrown player who doesn't make much money, and whose career is more theoretical than actual at this point. And for the second time in a row, we're going to recommend 'Marry.' It makes sense - homegrown players are off-budget, meaning for cap purposes, they don't cost a thing. And filling the roster with locally-developed players is satisfying on every level.
The Case for 'Boff:' While Collin is legally an adult now - he turned 18 in February - we'll not be f**king over a second-year Homegrown who makes $65k.
The Case for 'Kill:' As with Patrick Doody, no case for cutting ties with Fernandez comes to mind. If you've got one, please share it in the comments just as soon as you finish smothering baby hedgehogs.
Have your say, Fire family: Collin Fernandez: Marry?
Boff? or Kill?
*Please note that we are taking the MLSPU salary information at face value in this exercise. It's common knowledge that the information isn't 100 percent correct, yes. If someone from the front office would like to provide us with superior data, we would be deeply appreciative.