"Marry/F**k/Kill" is a game of the Internet age, and the rules are simple: name a group of three people ("Iron Man and Thor and Captain America," "Blanche, Rose or Dorothy"), and ask the crowd to choose one fate for each of them - one to partner with for good, one explored for a connection but not kept, and one cast off into the outer darkness. Fans of the dearly-departed sitcom 30 Rock will recognize this game in its safe-for-primetime version, Marry/Boff/Kill, which name we're borrowing because this is SB Nation, and there's, like, kids in here, maaaaaaan.
Here at Hot Time, we're going to use the game to talk about players - specifically Chicago Fire players. We're going to use it as a way to talk about the roster, player by player, in terms of their performance, contract details*, and potential going forward. And we'll do it all with an eye toward 2016 and beyond.
It works like this:
- ‘Marry' indicates a desire to keep the player at their current number or sometimes a bit more;
- ‘Boff' (i.e., ‘F**k) means that we're, uhh, f**king the player over, asking for modifications to their contract or running them through the Re-Entry Draft process - we're interested, but not on these terms; and
- ‘Kill' means we're not even interesting in hooking up - a 'nope.' If under contract for 2016, we'd prefer terminating the player's contact with CF97.
2015 stats: 4 appearances, all starts, 334 minutes.
MLS career stats: 28 appearances, 25 starts, 2245 minutes; 2 assists.
25-year-old left wingback. $60,000.
The Case for 'Marry:' Cochrane seems like a good teammate, the kind of guy who works hard day-in, day-out and doesn't complain about relatively little playing time. He's also on what, for a three-year veteran, is basically a minimum-wage deal.
The Case for 'Boff:' Again, Greg doesn't have much room to shave in this contract. If the Fire truly want to f**k him over, they could cut him late in the 2016 preseason, I suppose, but that's not the scenario we're imagining here.
The Case for 'Kill:' Sadly, Cochrane's lack of foot speed may be an insurmountable obstacle to his becoming a first-team regular at this level. It's hard to shape a killer ball when the defenders can run circles around a dude.
Have your say, Fire family: Greg Cochrane: Marry? Boff? or Kill?
*Please note that we are taking the MLSPU salary information at face value in this exercise. It's common knowledge that the information isn't 100 percent correct, yes. If someone from the front office would like to provide us with superior data, we would be deeply appreciative.