Roundup: Toronto downs Montreal in epic semifinal

TORONTO - If you missed last night’s second leg of the MLS Eastern Conference final - and I’m guessing the ratings will indicate that most of you missed it - then no big deal. I mean, unless you’re into games featuring real stakes, passionate support, team-wide mood swings, constant midfield juggling, twists of fate, wonder subs and buckets of cold Canadian rain, Toronto’s epic 5-2 (A.E.T) triumph over Montreal had little for the neutral.

(I don’t know you. Maybe joy and transcendence aren’t your thing. In that case, welcome to Fire fandom; you’ve found a safe space for now. But TRIGGER WARNING on the following video, then.)

Montreal must regret fumbling away a three-goal lead in the first leg. L’Impact are a team of veterans built to win now. Who will still be in the bleu et noir come March?

MLS Cup 2016 will also serve as a coronation of MLS 2.0’s most aggressive and well-supported clubs. The Seattle and Toronto sides that walk out onto BMO Field next Saturday will be among the most expensive XIs in league history - and this year, at least, that seemed to matter when it counted.

Oh, and Giovinco? He’ll be fine for MLS Cup.

Sometimes humans are beautiful

MEDELLIN - Wednesday, November 30 was to be a festival day in Medellin - the city’s Atlético Nacional was hosting the Copa Sudamerica cup final, after all - until scrappy Brazilian club Chapecoense’s plane crashed while awaiting clearance to land at the airport, killing nearly everyone onboard including nearly the entire technical and playing staff.

So Medellin had a festival anyway - a festival of joyful mourning. 45 thousand Atlético Nacional supporters turned out to sing for the lost and honor them. Atlético’s players called for Chape to be enshrined as the champions of the tournament. Humans can be beautiful.

Schweini sighting!

MANCHESTER - Rumors of Bastian Schweinsteiger’s exile to Manchester United’s U12 team are apparently overblown, as there was an actual in-game sighting of the Fire’s highest-profile transfer target. The German came on to a warm reception, and didn’t display any obvious problems moving about - lovely.

Don’t get too excited, though - Schweini entered the Red Devils’ EFL Cup (née League Cup) match in the 86th minute against West Ham. By that point, United was up 4-1. The guy he was replacing, Anthony Martial, had scored two of those goals.