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Roundtable: Blowouts, Anthems & Raccoon Parties

We dish on the win over the Revs, look ahead to Toronto, and compile the weirdest mixtape of the summer

MLS: New England Revolution at Chicago Fire Patrick Gorski-USA TODAY Sports

James Bridget Gordon: So that was fun! 3-0 over the Revs and we looked solid throughout. We're now on 11 points out of a possible 15 and in 3rd place, which, for us, is kind of amazing.

I really don't want to jinx this, but. Are. Are we actually... good?

Jack Kelly: Yes. The Fire are actually good. Other teams should be uncomfortable when they see Chicago on the schedule this season.

Ruben Tisch: Back in the day, this happened all the time. You youngens weren't there for the war, and Eric Wynalda.

James Bridget: Damn kids with their rock-n-roll and their complicated shoes.

Mike Tooley: I think we are obviously more competetive than previous couple of years. Relatively we are good yes. We have played better thus far than a number of other teams in our conference.

John Carollo III: I remember Wynalda. He told me to stay away from his daughter.

I was about 2.

And yes, we are totally better. This game vs. the Atlanta game shows the difference one player can make. Looks like Niko's scoring boots finally made it through customs as well. Looks to be getting in better positions and getting better service. Should've been a hat-trick, but not that there was an extra chance he could've finished. He was just playing well enough for one.

James Bridget: I feel like "Niko should've scored a hat-trick instead of just the brace" is a pretty damn good problem to have. As opposed to, like, two years ago, when our problems were more along the lines of, "we haven't scored a goal in two months and maybe we never will again."

John: I still think we should've kept Juan Luis Anangono on a non-DP contract. He was gonna score one of these days. But now it doesn't matter, we're actually scoring now.

James Bridget: You know, I never thought that someone could have a take in these roundtables that could potentially disqualify them from future participation. And yet here we are.

John: A shot off the crossbar is called an "Anangono"

James Bridget: I'll give JLA some credit, though. He at least didn't refuse to play then take pics of himself vaping and post them on Instagram. Admittedly that's a pretty low bar to clear. And yet.

John: One thing to add on the game: I knew from the moment I saw the line-up, Je-Vaughn Watson was going to mess up big time. He's neither a fullback, nor is he good. Also, we have as many games w/red cards as wins this season and only one win was affected by a send-off.

So we've got that going for us, which is nice.

Mike: It was very nice to see the guys take care of business with a man advantage. So often you see a team play a man up and they take things easy so it was good of the Fire to put the Revs away. As you guys have mentioned Niko is already on another level in relation to our long list of failed DP strikers. Hopefully he keeps it up.

James Bridget: Looking ahead to Friday (oh hey our first Friday Night game! I think?), the Fire are making the dangerous trek into that dark hinterland known as Canada. Toronto were strong all last season and made it to the MLS Cup Final but they've been decidedly Meh this season so far. They're beatable.

Or... are they?

Dun dun DUNNNNNNNNNN

Ruben: Sebastian Giovinco is still the best player in the league. We in trouble.

John: As long as they have Altidore and Giovinco up top, they still have something on us. We can handle their defense and Michael Bradley isn't as good as everyone else thinks, so there's two parts of the game we can control. But our D is still pretty fragile and they're two top class players.

Ruben: This won't be playing after the final whistle.

I'll be ecstatic if we leave T-Dot with a point.

John: Side-note: I love whatever team in England that plays "One Step Beyond" by Madness after every game.

James Bridget: Do the Fire have a song they play after the game? Or is it just whatever DJ Stairmaster feels like spinning?

Ruben: I don't know, But I want the Final Fantasy victory fanfare after the final whistle.

John: I believe it's just whatever. Although "Sweet Home Chicago" is played fairly often. I think Red Stars also play "Sweet Home Chicago" as well.

Ruben: As do the White Sox.

James Bridget: If the Fire REALLY wanted to be different they'd play Danger High Voltage.

Fire at the disco

Fire at the disco

Fire at the... Taco Bell

John: True Survivor by my fellow LTHS Alumni, David Hasselhoff.

Ruben: Panic! At the Disco.

James Bridget: Any of these suggestions are better than our unofficial anthem the past few years.

Wish we could turn back time

To the good old daaaaaaaaaays

Ruben: Hey, readers, put your victory theme ideas in the comments!

John: My victory theme is "Starlight" by Muse

Ruben: Didn't OK Go make a #cf97 theme in like, 2009?

John: I don't think so...

Although Muse's bass player hung out at a practice once.

James Bridget: I mean Liverpool has both James Bond AND Nick Fury. I don't think anyone ever will be able to top that

John: Weren't the Beatles Everton supporters or was that a joke?

James Bridget: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

John: Rutles was a good movie.

James Bridget: Anyway my victory theme is from a Doctor Who soundtrack, so.

Ruben: YOU BET YOUR ASS OK Go made a Fire Anthem!

And it was 2007, not 2009. It didn't catch on though. Not enough Lo's

John: We're all forgetting the best one: Sweet Victory by Squidward's Marching Band

James Bridget: No.

John: Do they even remember doing this?

Ruben: #NeverForget

John: Although it seems like they re-used the hook for "The One Moment"

James Bridget: If Chance ever made a cf97 song he would definitely include a bunch of Lo's. He'd bring in like Wiz or 2 Chainz just for that.

Ruben: *screams* TWO CHAINZZZZZZZ!

John: I think it should've been Wilco doing a Fire Anthem instead of OK GO, but now it definitely needs to be Chance.

Ruben: Kanye.

James Bridget: Wilco already did an anthem for Andrew Hauptman.

I'd like to rest

My weary head tonight

On a bed

Of California Stars

(Sorry, I had to do it)

Ruben: That was clever. Thumbs up

John: Apparently they did a concert before a game a while back. Like back at Soldier Field.

James Bridget: ... Chance concert at Toyota Park before a game?

I mean if THAT doesn't get butts in seats

Ruben: I remember I went to Firehouse East and Flogging Molly were supposed to have a show post game. We couldn't stay and I was disappointed.

John: We should bring in The Tossers to play "Emerald City" before the Seattle game.

Ruben: We could always just have Mankind win the WWF Championship. That'll put butts in seats.

James Bridget: I'm very disappointed in all of you.

Ruben: I like how since #cf97 are good now, we can have these silly conversations.

James Bridget: We could have these silly conversations before. Though I suppose they're somewhat less bitter now.

John: Silly is nice now that we know who this team is. As I said, we needed a solid blowout to prove to ourselves that we can do it.

James Bridget: ... that's what he said?

Ruben: Back to the original topic, Friday is not going to be fun unless we control the ball. Giovinco is going to expose Maira and Harrington. And it's the Fire's second real test this season against a team that you can consider good, and they failed the first one against Atlanta.

John: I'm still snickering about that OK GO song.

I completely agree. Although I think that Meira has done fairly well this season, but the defense as a whole still needs to improve to stop him.

Ruben: "You can't stop him. You can only hope to contain him."-Dan Patrick (edited)

James Bridget: For sure. I'd be happy with a point, honestly. We're doing well right now and there's still a lot of soccer to play this year. A loss would be demoralizing. A draw on the road against the MLS Cup runners-up would be pretty okay.

John: Yeah, a win isn't expected, but we need to keep our momentum moving past this game. A draw would be great.

James Bridget: Alright last question. Toyota Park has (had?) a raccoon. Toronto also has a few famous raccoons.

Which raccoon would win in a fight?

John: You asked the right person this question.

Seeing as our raccoon was both a family and very much alive, I think the Toronto raccoons would be a nice dinner out. Of course I don't they would touch anything from Toronto. They may be raccoons, but they still have taste.

(Did I win the sh*t-talking award?)

James Bridget: See that's the thing, Toronto has more than one famous raccoon. I specifically had the Donut Raccoon in mind.

John: Woah, I thought you were talking about the dead one.

Apparently they were also in Planet Earth II? But they also have rabies issues, so we win!

(Thank God it wasn't against DC. They've got plushies and this guy.)

James Bridget: Honestly I'm pretty sure the raccoons would team up against the humans. My money's on the raccoons.

John: Always bet on the penguins. They're hiding something down there.

Jack: All I read was JBG's most recent post and I've never been more confused by a roundtable in my entire life.

James Bridget: Just imagine how weird things will be when the raccoons are running the show next year.