I Am Dax’s Impotent Rage: USA 0, Costa Rica 2

I was born a long time ago - a pickup game? Some larger guy pushing Dax down, making him stay down? Something like that - but I’ve found my appeal has become … more selective; it takes special evenings like tonight, like this sparkling Friday evening in the arena Dax called home for years ... tonight was special for Dax’s Impotent Rage. Tonight was my prom.

I mean, sitting on the bench? While the USA just flat-out bent the knee in midfield to Costa Rica? Down a goal at halftime, and two fouls committed? I settled into Dax’s stomach after the first goal, then got up in his throat when the Ticos’ 5-3-2 kept casually snuffing out the USA’s plodding, predictable attacks.

I gotta say this for Dax: He didn’t lose his mind. I climbed up his throat into his hind-brain, emphasizing the feelings of personal shame and defeat as Costa Rica added the second goal after Geoff Cameron’s brain-fart pass. I confess I shrieked obscenities in his ear - and I further confess that the riff on Cameron’s mouth-breathing, both literal and political, was really good stuff - but he repeated nothing. “Nothing good comes of it,” he muttered - to himself? To me? - through clenched teeth.

So Dax ain’t goin’ out like that, which means that I WIIIIIIIIIIIN … his impotence, boosted by that of the USA, gave me a vigor I hadn’t felt in some time. And Monday is away to Honduras, who are even with us in the standings, and Bruce doesn’t seem to understand he should put Dax on the field … ohh, this could a fantastic week for Dax’s Impotent Rage.