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MLS Weekend Hatewatch: This League is Weird

Toronto dominates, Minnesota wins, and a whole lot of people show up in Atlanta

MLS: Toronto FC at Los Angeles Galaxy Kelvin Kuo-USA TODAY Sports

A whole lot of stuff that doesn’t make sense happened this weekend in MLS. But hey, that’s what makes it such a fun league to follow. From pitch invaders to record crowds, it was an action-packed weekend across the U.S. and Canada.

Here’s the weekend in MLS:

Toronto FC 4-0 Los Angeles Galaxy

To quote last week’s Hatewatch, “Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuugh.”

Toronto, for the second consecutive weekend, shut out their opponent 4-0. And this time they did it on the road. Now don’t get me wrong, LA is bad. But I think the bigger story here is just how good TFC is. After this weekend, they are 11 points better than second place NYCFC. 11 points better than second place NYCFC. That’s insane.

They’ve always been the favorites to win it all, but it’s humorous to me that I, at one point, thought that Chicago has an actual shot at topping the regular season standings.

Anyways, congrats to Toronto FC on their Supporters Shield triumph! Oh, and condolences to the pitch invader (pictured above) who took a shot from those StubHub center stewards.

Montreal Impact 2-3 Minnesota United

Minnesota United victory alert!

The Loons did something this weekend that they haven’t done a whole lot of this season: they won an MLS regular season match! After allowing a goal inside of 10 minutes against Montreal, they bounced back and equalized from the penalty spot in the 20th minute.

However, it wasn’t long after halftime that Montreal recaptured the lead with a wonder goal from Blerim Džemaili. The Swiss footballer hit a sweet, scissor-kick volley in the bottom corner of the goal, and Bobby Shuttleworth could do nothing about it.

In the 60th minute, though, Minnesota equalized with a bit of scrappy play in front of goal, and they eventually went on to get the 89th minute winner on an absolute screamer of a shot from Abu Danladi.

Adrian Heath’s side showed resilience that, frankly, no one knew they had this weekend. Well done, Loons!

Atlanta United 3-3 Orlando City

So, uh, Atlanta United had 70,425 people show up for their game against Orlando City on Saturday. That’s the highest attendance of any MLS match, ever, in the league’s 22-season history.

And the game itself was nuts. Josef Martinez scored another hat trick for the Five Stripes, and Dom Dwyer gabbed a pair of goals for the Lions.

Just watch the highlights, I can’t do the game proper justice with words.

Vancouver Whitecaps 2-2 That Yellow Team

If I were to ask you what team sat atop the Western Conference standings, which one would you pick? Sporting KC? Portland Timbers? Seattle Sounders?

Wrong. Wrong. Wrong.

Vancouver Whitecaps FC currently find themselves a point ahead of all three of those teams in the west, and the Canadian team has only played 28 games so far this season.

On Saturday, the Cascadian club picked up another point at home against the Columbus Crew.

After exchanging early goals in the 15th and 19th minutes, the game went into a bit a lull. A lull that Kakuta Manneh obliterated with his absolute rocket of a strike in the 63rd minute. The former Vancouver man punished the club he once called home, but was tame in his celebration, given the nature of the goal. Classy stuff from Manneh.

But Vancouver wouldn’t go away. Chance-after-chance presented themselves to the Whitecaps, but they waited until the 92nd minute to finally capitalize on one. A teasing ball picked out Tony Tchani at the back post, and the Cameroonian midfielder was able to get enough of a touch on the ball to direct it into the goal.

Overall, this game was tantalizing stuff.

New York Red Bulls 0-0 Philadelphia Union

And finally, I’ll leave you with this brief, but accurate, description of the New York vs. Philadelphia match: Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.

Have a great week.