Ugh whatever let’s do this thing.
DC United 2-2 Houston Dynamo
So the game was whatever, but it was notable for being the start of DCU’s temporary stint at the Maryland SoccerPlex.
I don’t think it’s a big deal, commute notwithstanding, but some folks were Mad Online about it. Including former CF97 legend DaMarcus Beasley.
Just when I thought @MLS was getting better in every aspect, todays “conditions” were unacceptable!! From the locker room to the “training” room(which was jus an area blocked by curtains next to the vending machines) kids volleyball goin on, it was a circus. #unacceptable— DaMarcus Beasley (@DaMarcusBeasley) March 17, 2018
Welcome to being an NWSL fan, buddy.
Submitted for your amusement:
Philadelphia Union 0-0 Columbus Crew
I didn’t get to watch this game because it overlapped with Fires, but apparently I wasn’t alone.
We are aware of the technical difficulties with @MLS Live's broadcast of #PHIvCLB and MLS is working to quickly repair the issue.— Columbus Crew SC (@ColumbusCrewSC) March 17, 2018
Follow along with the Live Audio Stream at https://t.co/ReXz0lSFnf#CrewSC
As for the game itself: <loud wet fart noise that lasts for a thousand years>
New York City 2-0 Orlando City
So I hate both of these teams, obviously, but I do like games like this one. What I mean is, I like games that are evenly balanced and the breakthrough has to come with one team making a mistake.
Here, the game was scoreless and tens for more than an hour, and the balance tipped when Joe Bendik borked a pass and Ismael Tajouri took advantage. Maxi Moralez scored again 12 minutes later, but really that first goal is when the game was decided.
Even games with bad teams— in terms of technical ability or moral character— can be fun when they’re bad in ways that play off each other.
(Yes I know NYCFC are top of the Eastern Conference. I don’t care.)
I’m sharing this primarily because Wondo scored a late goal and the Quakes still lost. Mmm, spite tastes so good.
I hate that Atlanta are so good. I hate that Josef Martinez can post hatties like it’s nothing. I hate everything about this.
BONUS: Clint Dempsey’s Nutshot
VAR catches Dempsey and he's off. Seattle down to 10 men. pic.twitter.com/Anba5sxNHZ— Total MLS (@TotalMLS) March 18, 2018