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Chicago Red Stars 2, Portland Thorns 3: First Thoughts

Stupid mistakes sink Chicago in their home opener

Photo via Chicago Red Stars

Chicago Red Stars 2 Mautz 31’, 67’

Portland Thorns 3 Horan 9’, Sinclair 41’, 65’ (PK)

  • Lineups are here!
  • Pregame thought 1: So, uh. Red Stars only named 15 players. And Arin Gilliland is playing as the striker. Hoo boy.
  • Pregame thought 2: On the upside it looks like a lot of folks from the Fire game stuck around for the Red Stars game. Way to support your local! (Suck it, Internet Jerks.)
  • Let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooo
  • 2’ Home opener wooooooooooo
  • 5’ Kind of a slow start. Both teams feeling each other out. I dig it.
  • 6’ These new black home kits are pretty slick.
  • 9’ GOAL Oh, uh. That’s not good. Horan heads in from a corner. Yikes. CHI 0-1 POR
  • 11’ I mean the Fire went down early in the game and came back to get a result. So.
  • 14’ Gilliland gets a header toward goal but doesn’t put enough juice into it and Franch collects it.
  • 16’ Weber goes down pretty hard. She looks like she’ll be okay but that was a hard hit from Johnson. #TheChicagoWay
  • 20’ The Red Stars are firmly in Whatevering territory now and it’s... unpleasant to watch.
  • 22’ Huerta looks good out there though.
  • 24’ Kling was down briefly. Clutching her face. Looks like it was Colaprico? She’s fine tho.
  • 28’ Red Stars starting to pull it together. Good, keep it going.
  • 31’ GOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL MAUTZ HITS A DEFLECTED SHOT AND IT ARCS INTO THE BACK OF THE NET!!! CHI 1-1 POR
  • 34’ CRS ain’t done yet! Piling on pressure in Portland’s defensive third. Could see a go-ahead goal before the whistle.
  • 38’ Oh yikes. Naeher with some poor distribution and the ball rolls straight at Weber. She hits a chipped shot that juuuuuust stays over the crossbar. Yeesh.
  • 41’ GOAL Momentum? What’s that? Bad transition play plays Christine Sinclair through and she slots into an empty net. CHI 1-2 POR
  • 42’ Ugh. Like I’m not surprised but for real, the Red Stars can’t be this sloppy.
  • 43’ Ugh ugh ugh what a stupid unforced error.
  • 44’ Naeher venturing out into No Women’s Land a lot tonight. This is troubling.
  • 45’ Red Stars with a late corner kick. Last chance to make something happen before the break.
  • 45’+ Nope!
  • Halftime! CHI 1-2 POR
  • Halftime thought 1: Whatever happens now, we brought on ourselves.
  • Halftime thought 2:
  • Halftime thought 3: I’m more than a little troubled by Naeher’s dip in form. I really hope this is just a temporary slump.
  • Second half is underway!
  • 49’ Thorns with some dangerous attacking play early in the second half. Almost squeezed through to score, had to settle for a corner.
  • 51’ Red Stars hit on the counter with Gilliland making a scorching run down the left flank. She sends in a great cross which Franch has to leap to tip over into touch.
  • 52’ The subsequent corner comes to nothing but this is still much, much better.
  • 58’ I don’t mean to alarm you but Rory Dames is getting Het Up on the touchline.
  • 59’ Maybe he misses his friend, The Truffle Pig.
  • 60’ Oh damn Onumonu fights her way through on goal but she’s ruled offside before she can do anything. Whew.
  • 62’ Kling goes 1-v-1 with Naeher. The Chicago keeper manages to make the save. I’m feeling a distinct sense of dread creeping in.
  • 64’ lol yup right as I type that Portland wins a penalty.
  • 65’ GOAL Sinclair converts the pen. CHI 1-3 POR
  • 66’ Hello darkness my old frieeeeeeeeend
  • 67’ GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL HUERTA SQUARES A CROSS AND MAUTZ FINISHES!!!!!!! CHI 2-3 POR
  • 68’ Still got some work ahead of us.
  • 69’ FK for Chicago goes nowhere.
  • 75’ It’s apparently very cold out there tonight.
  • 80’ Vasconcelos comes in for Green as Chicago’s first sub of the night.
  • 81’ Mautz sends in a great cross but no one can get on the end of it.
  • 82’ lol Vasconcelos gets right to work, cracking a shot off from the 18 yard line and just missing the target. Keep it up keep it up!
  • 84’ Commentator notes that the Red Stars have never lost at home in the NWSL era. Ruh roh.
  • 85’ Yenney comes in for Stanton.
  • 88’ Sinc and Purce double-team on a counterattack but the attack falls apart.
  • 89’ Hooooooooo boy, Naeher just had to dig deep to make a save on Onumonu’s breakaway.
  • 89’ FFS the Red Stars’ defense is a mess tho.
  • 90’ Yenney gets a shot off but Franch is on top of it. 3 minutes of stoppage time.
  • Peep! Peep! Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Final score: CHI 2-3 POR
  • Final Whistle Thought: Well this sucks.

Stay tuned for more postgame coverage and a full recap here on Hot Time In Old Town. In the meantime, join the conversation in the comments or on social media.