Chicago Red Stars 2, Portland Thorns 3: First Thoughts

Chicago Red Stars 2 Mautz 31’, 67’

Portland Thorns 3 Horan 9’, Sinclair 41’, 65’ (PK)

• Lineups are here!
• Pregame thought 1: So, uh. Red Stars only named 15 players. And Arin Gilliland is playing as the striker. Hoo boy.
• Pregame thought 2: On the upside it looks like a lot of folks from the Fire game stuck around for the Red Stars game. Way to support your local! (Suck it, Internet Jerks.)
• Let’s goooooooooooooooooooooooo
• 2’ Home opener wooooooooooo
• 5’ Kind of a slow start. Both teams feeling each other out. I dig it.
• 6’ These new black home kits are pretty slick.
• 9’ GOAL Oh, uh. That’s not good. Horan heads in from a corner. Yikes. CHI 0-1 POR
• 11’ I mean the Fire went down early in the game and came back to get a result. So.
• 14’ Gilliland gets a header toward goal but doesn’t put enough juice into it and Franch collects it.
• 16’ Weber goes down pretty hard. She looks like she’ll be okay but that was a hard hit from Johnson. #TheChicagoWay
• 20’ The Red Stars are firmly in Whatevering territory now and it’s... unpleasant to watch.
• 22’ Huerta looks good out there though.
• 24’ Kling was down briefly. Clutching her face. Looks like it was Colaprico? She’s fine tho.
• 28’ Red Stars starting to pull it together. Good, keep it going.
• 31’ GOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLL MAUTZ HITS A DEFLECTED SHOT AND IT ARCS INTO THE BACK OF THE NET!!! CHI 1-1 POR
• 34’ CRS ain’t done yet! Piling on pressure in Portland’s defensive third. Could see a go-ahead goal before the whistle.
• 38’ Oh yikes. Naeher with some poor distribution and the ball rolls straight at Weber. She hits a chipped shot that juuuuuust stays over the crossbar. Yeesh.
• 41’ GOAL Momentum? What’s that? Bad transition play plays Christine Sinclair through and she slots into an empty net. CHI 1-2 POR
• 42’ Ugh. Like I’m not surprised but for real, the Red Stars can’t be this sloppy.
• 43’ Ugh ugh ugh what a stupid unforced error.
• 44’ Naeher venturing out into No Women’s Land a lot tonight. This is troubling.
• 45’ Red Stars with a late corner kick. Last chance to make something happen before the break.
• 45’+ Nope!
• Halftime! CHI 1-2 POR
• Halftime thought 1: Whatever happens now, we brought on ourselves.
• Halftime thought 2:

• Halftime thought 3: I’m more than a little troubled by Naeher’s dip in form. I really hope this is just a temporary slump.
• Second half is underway!
• 49’ Thorns with some dangerous attacking play early in the second half. Almost squeezed through to score, had to settle for a corner.
• 51’ Red Stars hit on the counter with Gilliland making a scorching run down the left flank. She sends in a great cross which Franch has to leap to tip over into touch.
• 52’ The subsequent corner comes to nothing but this is still much, much better.
• 58’ I don’t mean to alarm you but Rory Dames is getting Het Up on the touchline.
• 59’ Maybe he misses his friend, The Truffle Pig.
• 60’ Oh damn Onumonu fights her way through on goal but she’s ruled offside before she can do anything. Whew.
• 62’ Kling goes 1-v-1 with Naeher. The Chicago keeper manages to make the save. I’m feeling a distinct sense of dread creeping in.
• 64’ lol yup right as I type that Portland wins a penalty.
• 65’ GOAL Sinclair converts the pen. CHI 1-3 POR
• 66’ Hello darkness my old frieeeeeeeeend
• 67’ GOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLL HUERTA SQUARES A CROSS AND MAUTZ FINISHES!!!!!!! CHI 2-3 POR
• 68’ Still got some work ahead of us.
• 69’ FK for Chicago goes nowhere.
• 75’ It’s apparently very cold out there tonight.
• 80’ Vasconcelos comes in for Green as Chicago’s first sub of the night.
• 81’ Mautz sends in a great cross but no one can get on the end of it.
• 82’ lol Vasconcelos gets right to work, cracking a shot off from the 18 yard line and just missing the target. Keep it up keep it up!
• 84’ Commentator notes that the Red Stars have never lost at home in the NWSL era. Ruh roh.
• 85’ Yenney comes in for Stanton.
• 88’ Sinc and Purce double-team on a counterattack but the attack falls apart.
• 89’ Hooooooooo boy, Naeher just had to dig deep to make a save on Onumonu’s breakaway.
• 89’ FFS the Red Stars’ defense is a mess tho.
• 90’ Yenney gets a shot off but Franch is on top of it. 3 minutes of stoppage time.
• Peep! Peep! Peeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep! Final score: CHI 2-3 POR
• Final Whistle Thought: Well this sucks.

Stay tuned for more postgame coverage and a full recap here on Hot Time In Old Town. In the meantime, join the conversation in the comments or on social media.