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MLS Weekend Hatewatch: World Whatnow?

ML’S is back baby. It’s good again. Awoouu (wolf Howl)

MLS: San Jose Earthquakes at Real Salt Lake Jeff Swinger-USA TODAY Sports

The World Cup break is over, and MLS is back! Anyone excited? Hello…..hello?

You’d be forgiven if you decided to skip out watching most of these matches beacause of the 2018 World Cup. Especially with games such as Germany’s 2-1 win over Sweden, the 2-2 draw between Japan and Senegal and England’s 6-1 dominance over Panama.

So if you were one of those people, here’s what you missed out in the land of MLS.

Philadelphia Union 4–0 Vancouver Whitecaps

The Union were looking to break their two-game winless streak against Vancouver and they did just that with a 4-0 dribbling of their Canadian counterparts. Borek Dockal scored the first goal in the 24th minute for DOOP. Then things were quiet until the later part of the second-half where Vancouver’s defense collapsed hard. The Union scored twice in a span of three minutes before the 80th minute and five minutes into injury time.

And if you were wondering, David Accam didn’t score.

New York Red Bulls 3–0 FC Dallas

A 10-man energy drink consortium breezed through FC Dallas with ease on Saturday. Bradley Wright-Phillips opened scored the first on the 23rd minute and five minutes later Daniel Royer was shown a red after an ugly tackle. Aaron Long later added a second goal for the Metrostars before the end of the first-half. Shortly after the start of the second-half, Kemar Lawrence scored the third and towards the end of the game FC Dallas saw a red card of their own with Reto Ziegler being sent off.

Orlando City 0–2 Montreal Impact

Orlando continued with their losing streak with a 0-2 loss against Montreal – who they lost 3-0 ten days prior. An own goal from Lamine Sane put Montreal ahead just 13 minutes into the game. Things were pretty boring until the 84th minute where Ignacio Piatti (whom the Fire should look to acquire) scored.

Sporting KC 3–2 Houston Dynamo

Probably one of the better matches that happened over the weekend. Houston had the lead just two minutes in with a goal from Mauro Manotas. He later doubled the lead just as the first-half was about to end. But you should know by now that anything could happen in soccer. Houston blew their lead over the Wizards by the 85th minute and just a few minutes later, Khiry Shelton won it all for SKC.

Colorado Rapids 3–2 Minnesota United

The battle of the LOLs and LMAOs of MLS. Minnesota had the lead early on then Colorado had the equalizer by the 50th minute. Christian Ramirez gave Minnesota the lead again 15 minutes later then Colorado once again equalized towards the end of the second-half. Then through the sheer power of lol wat, in the 7th minute of injury time Tommy Smith found the back of the net giving the Rapids a very rare win.

Real Salt Lake 1–1 San Jose Earthquakes

I still can’t believe there is a team called “Real Salt Lake.” Anyway, this game was uninspiring. Two second-half goals from both sides were the only action produced. Oh, and Kyle Beckerman got his 300th MLS match so there’s that I guess.

LAFC 2–0 Columbus Crew 2-0

Two early goals from LA was enough to see that yellow team go down. Former Fire target Lee Nguyen had a hand with the second goal, so this was also an indirect win for the Fire if I did my calculations correctly. There was plenty of action during the rest of the game, with five yellow cards shown.

Atlanta United 1–1 Portland Timbers

MLS Attendance Champs Atlanta United drew with Portland on Sunday. They were still probably reeling from the 1-0 loss that our brave lads gave them last Wednesday.

NYCFC 2–1 Toronto FC

Toronto FC, who was on top of the world last season, continued their downfall against NYCFC in a baseball field with a 2-1 loss. David Villa was forced off in the 28th minute with an injury and just 10 minutes later Toronto scored. NYCFC equalized shortly after the start of the second-half by a goal from Jo Igne Berget, and later scored the game winner in the 68th minute.