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Friday Mailbag & Open Thread: Hypothetically Speaking

Ruben discusses Keisuke Honda, the Red Stars roster, escape rooms, and brunch

It’s time once again for the Hot Time Friday Mailbag. Remember, you can ask us questions about Chicago Soccer and beyond using the hashtag #AskHotTime on twitter. Let’s get it.

This isn’t much of a question, but rather a statement of intent. Yes. Keisuke Honda in a Chicago Fire jersey would be nuts. I’ve wanted him on the Fire for the longest time. He’s basically exactly what the Fire don’t have. He’s a creative attacking midfielder with both style and class. He’s tough and hard worker. He’s got name value from playing at a big club, and He’s been very productive for Pachuca in 2017-2018, with 10 goals in 29 appearances. I’d love Keisuke Honda in the number 10 Fire Shirt...... I’ll be right back my Football Manager save is calling me.

Good news, Sandra heard you!

A fully healthy, PEAK fitness Chicago Red Stars roster has felt like a DREAM this season. It’s hard to believe that the team is nearly there as far as getting the pieces to work to their puzzle. Here’s what I’d like to see if everyone was 100 percent. Naeher; Gilliland, Naughton, Ertz, Short; Stanton, Colaprico, Brian, DiBernardo; Kerr, Nagasato. As for the bench, Gorden, Mautz, and Elby as super subs. Gorden and Elby subbing for Gilliland and Stanton. Pushing Ertz higher at DM, Elby in at RB, Gorden at CB. Mautz as a 3rd sub option if needed.

As for me, my dream Red Stars XI is 11 Vanessa DiBernardo’s. Because we all dream of a team off 11 DiBernardo’s (and if we don’t, we should.)

For the Fire, it’d be so much fun to have brunch with Bastian Schweinsteiger. From all accounts, he is a really nice guy, and could probably teach a graduate level course on tactics. Plus, think of all that tea that he could be split about Jurgan Klinsmann and how bad a manager he was. THINK OF IT!

As for the Red Stars, Yuki Nagasato. For two reasons, 1) she seems to be a really interesting person. 2) She’s Japanese, and I am a massive Weaboo. I took Japanese in college as my foreign language requirement, and remember none of it. It would be nice to get to use it some. It would be kind of awkward if we didn’t get along though... what if I embarrass myself?! um... maybe I should rethink this.... uh... Alyssa Mautz? She was always cool to me when I would interview her.

Time to come clean: I hate brunch. It’s a useless meal that takes the worst parts of breakfast and lunch and smushes them together to create an unholy amalgamation of shitty Eggs Benedict (aptly named) with a side salad featuring a vinaigrette made with unripened strawberries, bad vinegar, and sadness . Also, mimosa's are overrated. We’d have either breakfast or lunch. I like a good greasy spoon, so I’d probably suggest Alexander’s at the corner of Granville and Clark. They have really good pancakes. If we have lunch, Manny’s. Manny’s is the best. That’s really all there is to it. Basically, No fru fru Lakeview bullshit.

[Editor’s note: the views and shameful betrayals expressed in this column do not reflect the opinions of Hot Time In Old Town, SBNation, or Vox Media. Direct all complaints to Ruben on Twitter.]

Clearly the Red Stars. Have you seen their lineup? Nahear, Elby, Stanton, Gilliland, DiBernardo, and Coliprico.

Also, they’ve had practice.