Everything with the Chicago Fire right now is bad. But I bet that you have a little voice in your head saying, “We’re poop, but I bet some team out there is actual crap.”

Wew lad, have I got some bad news for you.

Seattle Sounders 5-0 LA Galaxy

The Sounders gave the Galaxy a beating on Saturday. The Galaxy who were missing the likes of the Dos Santos brothers and Zlatan - with the latter being out because the club didn’t want him to play on artificial turf (Bastian Schweinsteiger played on artificial turf, just saying). Seattle scored just three minutes in. Already the Galaxy were looking sleepy. Former Chicago Fire man Harry Shipp doubled the lead before the 20th minute mark. Things got worse for the Galaxy when they scored an OG shortly after the start of the second-half. Seattle later scored two more, completing their demolition.

Philadelphia Union 2-0 NYCFC

As always, let’s get this out of the way. David Accam did not score, but he did have some pretty great chances.

NYCFC had some pretty good opportunities early in the game. David Villa was looking dangerous but couldn’t finish. Accam on the other hand was the same. Around the 46th minute mark, Accam with his signature pace almost slotted it in past Sean Johnson but missed the mark. DOOP scored about 10 minutes later and added to that towards the end of the game. Five minutes into injury time, NYCFC were down a man because of a stupid challenge from Ronald Mataritta.

Vancouver Whitecaps 2-2 New York Red Bulls

About 3000 or so odd miles to the West, another New York team was playing to solidify their dominance in the East. The Red Bulls were looking to dominant the Whitecaps who were fresh from the Canadian Championship final loss earlier in the week. Five minutes in, and they were doing just that with a goal from Daniel Royer. Kendall Watson equalized before the end of the first-half. During the second-half, Watson gave the Whitecaps the lead. Towards the end of the match, Michael Amir Murillo who was already cautioned earlier in the game shoved Alphonso Davies and was sent off. Vancouver seemed to loose their focus after this as on the 89th minute, Royer equalized for the energy drinks.

Atlanta United 3-1 Columbus Crew

Atlanta looks unstoppable at this point. At the rate they are going, they are surely going to be crowned Supporter Shield champions and even win the cup (hey that sounds familiar). Josef Martinez who will probably end up with 30+ goals at the end of the season opened the scoreline for Atlanta. This was his 27th goal of the season, tying the MLS record. Props to him, but could he do it in a cold night at Stoke instead of stat-padding in MLS? No, I’m not being salty that Nemanja Nikolic is going to lose the crown. Nope not at all.

Anyway, C-Bus woke up in the second-half and equalized courtesy of Gyasi Zardes. They seem to lose focus after that and Atlanta regained their lead in the 76th minute and assured their win for the day a few moments later from a Miguel Almiron goal.

DC United 2-0 New England Revolution

That new stadium of theirs must be doing wonders because D.C. United are on a roll lately. United almost gained the lead in the 12th minute, but despite some scrambling in the box, they failed to convert. However just a minute later Luciano Acosta had a beauty of goal. The ball slotted up to the top of the net giving United the lead. After that goal, things were pretty even between the both sides. But since everyone seems to want a red card lately, Scott Caldwell did a stupid challenge and now New England were down a man. United secured their three points for the night with a goal before the final whistle.