I feel stupid for even writing this preview.

This game doesn’t matter! The league season is over for us. We’ve got a USOC semifinal on Wednesday that is do-or-die. Real Salt Like are beatable, but the Fire can’t beat anyone so it doesn’t even matter. We’re going to lose, and we’re going to lose badly, and it won’t matter because we’re not making the playoffs and the MLS campaign is a lost cause.

I’d say we can still play for pride, but, uh. Well.

(Can the team just pretend to miss their flights? Like Sky Blue FC did last weekend?)

Chicago Fire all-time MLS record vs Real Salt Lake: 7W-7D-6L, 24 GF / 18 GA, 28 pts out of 60

Chicago Fire away MLS record vs Real Salt Lake: 3W-3D-3L, 13 GF / 10 GA, 12 pts out of 27

Previously On...

Two draws and a loss in their last three. An otherwise beatable team, except for the fact that we’re the Fire.

Suggested Lineup

Cleveland; Ellis, Dean, Del Grecco, Campbell, Hasler; Conner, Tchani, Adams, Johnson; Campos

Like I said, this game doesn’t matter. The club is banking everything on the Open Cup. Let’s lean into it. This is my Fuck It lineup, because tomorrow doesn’t matter.

(I highlight doubt Pauno will name a team that in any way resembles this. Look for Niko and Katai and maybe even Basti to start, because of course. And Sanchez will probably continue to play in goal, despite our recommendations.)

Keys To The Match

(Oh and Score First. But, I mean, whatever.)

How To Watch

Television: N/A

Streaming: ESPN+

Final Thoughts

Can the Fire avoid completely embarrassing themselves? Let us know in the comments below!