Before the NWSL Championship, the purpose of Media Day is to get the opportunity to have a small table-side chat with players ahead of the big game. After a long season, you have the chance to finally get players on record discussing all the important issues. You discuss things like their trainings, preparation, their preferred methods of recovery, their opinions on their competition, and other various approaches to a big game for a pro athlete.

So naturally, on the Red Stars biggest media day event ever, we decided to play a rigorous round of “Would You Rather.” And in light of a recent controversy over NWSL voting processes, we’ve made sure to be as transparent as possible by giving you the full results of the players’ selections.

You will learn about their preferences on Chicago baseball, their dream moment of glory, and their opinions on basketball icons. There are options that are heavily favored (the Red Stars love dogs), some more narrow in margin, and even two questions that players simply had to abstain due to some heavy soul searching.

For Nikki Stanton that moment was obviously about animals, for Sarah Gorden it came down to local food.

While some players respected the rapid fire scenarios and gave quick, responsive answers (Julie Ertz prides herself on being great at these), others found themselves needing to weigh the very real scenarios to truly give their honest feelings.

As a bonus, we also got Yuki Nagasato’s choice for who the Red Stars would pick as their champion, if the match were suddenly determined in a center-circle brawl. She said Alyssa Naeher, because she is a badass.

So enjoy the results, and be sure to read the very important notes sprinkled in. These are your 2019 Chicago Red Stars official picks.

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Would You Rather

Be 5 mins late To Practice: Kerr, Goralski

Or

An Hour Early: Naeher, Elby, Ertz, Boyd, Brian, Davison, Gorden, Johnson, Sharples, Stanton, Arnold, Short, Naughton, McCaskill, Colaprico, DiBernardo, Sanchez, Nagasato.

Notes: For a while, it looked like Sam Kerr would be the only player on the late side, which would have been very funny, but Zoey Goralski came through with the honesty. Casey Short said the idea of being late shook her (“I would have so much anxiety”), and Sarah Gorden reasoned how it would depend on what mood Head Coach Rory Dames was in that day. After thinking about it for a second, she confidently said an hour early.

Would You Rather

Score the Game Winning Goal: Kerr, Gorden, Johnson, Sharples, Stanton, Sanchez, DiBernardo, McCaskill, Nagasato, Brian, Elby

Or

Make the Game Saving Clearance: Arnold, Short, Naughton, Colaprico, Goralski, Davison, Naeher, Boyd, Ertz

Notes: These answers were pretty much divided down positional lines, though a few defenders said they wanted to get that goal just because it would be so unlikely. Both Gorden and Stanton would rather score, since it would hypothetically be their first in the league, which they would very much enjoy. Stanton also wanted to encourage Mackenzie Arnold to advocate for a 93rd minute empty net header, but Arnold stuck to her guns.

A Special Question from Chicago Local 134

Would You Rather

Jump in Lake Michigan in December: Kerr, Gorden, Sharples, Arnold, Short, Naughton, DiBernardo, Sanchez, McCaskill, Goralski, Davison, Naeher, Boyd.

Or

Sing Karaoke Live on TV: Johnson, Stanton, Colaprico, Nagasato, Elby, Ertz

Notes: Danny Colaprico did think that there is real opportunity to shine in singing karaoke live on TV, while Julie Ertz would sing because she hates the cold more than she’s afraid of a live TV moment (“I could tell you straight up before I sing ‘I’m not good.’ I’m not going to go up there like ‘Step aside, Beyonce!’’). Vanessa Dibernardo was a hard pass on singing, (“I don’t even sing karaoke not on TV”). And Sam Kerr was eager to jump in the lake, and said it sounded fun, honestly declaring “I don’t know what December (in Chicago) is”.

You have to pick one:

Chicago Hot Dog: Kerr, Stanton, Naughton, Goralski

Or

Deep Dish Pizza: Sharples, Johnson, Arnold, Short, Sanchez, Colaprico, Nagasato, Davison, Naeher, Elby, Boyd, Ertz

Abstain: Gorden

Notes: Stanton loves Chicago hot dogs, and could rapid-fire explain the construct to Arnold, saying she could “eat a hundred of them”. We had to do the same for Julie Ertz, who still hasn’t tried much Chicago cuisine, but she didn’t like the sound of a Chicago Dog - not a big relish or mustard fan. Kayla Sharples has been consistent in her love for deep dish since she became a Red Star. We respect that.

Michael Jordan: Gorden, Sharples, Johnson, Stanton, Arnold, Naughton, DiBernardo, McCaskill, Colaprico, Goralski, Nagasato, Davison, Naeher, Elby, Ertz

Or

Lebron James: Kerr (but actually likes both), Short, Sanchez, Boyd, Brian

Notes: The votes weighed in Michael Jordan’s favor, with one local Red Star yelling “DON’T DO IT” as their teammate was about to pick Lebron. Stanton is a huge Jordan fan, though she said she wished he was a little bit more open about his philanthropy.

Cubs: Sharples, Johnson, Arnold, Stanton, Short, Naughton, DiBernardo, Sanchez, Colaprico, McCaskill, Goralski, Nagasato, Davison, Naeher, Elby, Ertz, Boyd, Brian.

Or

Sox: Gorden, Kerr

Notes: Some Red Stars felt a lot more strongly about this one than others. All the local players had their preferences (which you can see in the results), but a lot of players not from the area didn’t feel too attached to either team. Julie Ertz however shouted out Grandpa Ross, and said “you can’t beat Wrigleyville, right?”

Dogs: Boyd, Ertz, Kerr, Gorden, Sharples, Johnson, Short, Naughton, Davison, Sanchez, DiBernardo, McCaskill, Colaprico, Nagasato, Goralski, Elby, Naeher,

Or

Cats:

Abstained: Stanton (she loves both), Arnold.

Notes: Figures

Are You Going To Win On Sunday

Yes: Gorden, Kerr, Johnson, Sharples, Stanton, Arnold, Short, Naughton, Sanchez, DiBernardo, Colaprico, McCaskill, Nagasato, Goralski, Davison, Brian, Elby, Naeher, Ertz

Obviously, Fuck Yes: Boyd

No: none